Pooptacular July 30, 2007

On Friday River and I had a rough day.  Well, really it was just me that had a rough day but I lumped him right in there because we go together like peanut butter and jelly.  I think the funniest/worst part of the day was during his daily “no diaper time.”  I have found that the surest way to prevent or treat diaper rash is to give River’s tooshie a little fresh air unencumbered by a diaper.   Friday was no different and after we took our shower I let him crawl around without a diaper for a little while.

I figured it was safe to leave him diaperless because  he usually poops first thing in the morning or in the evening so mid-morning seemed like as good of a time as any.  And yet, not so much.  I was sitting in the dining room talking on the phone and I suddenly got a pungent whiff of poop. I looked over to see River, standing not even 4 feet away from me with poop on the floor and some partially coming out of his butt.

Stupid me, I ran into the kitchen to get some paper towels to clean up the mess and in the whole 10 second I was gone River managed to practically cover himself in poop. TEN SECONDS people!  He had poop squished between his toes, on his back, on his belly, on his hands, pretty much everywhere.  Then, during the cleaning process he managed to transfer poop onto me, a few different towels, my dish strainer, a scrubbing brush (please, just don’t ask) and all over the kitchen sink.  I should probably note here that the most difficult place to clean was between River’s toes, they are tiny and harbored poop like nothing I have seen before, he even had poop under his toenails for god sakes.

I scrubbed the dining room floor no less than 10 times and yet my dining room still had the faint odor of baby poop emanating from the corner.   Plus, did I mention that River and I had just gotten out of the shower right before he did this? We were clean, and smelled nice though obviously not for very long.

Is it terrible to admit that I contemplated taking pictures during all of this?